Halloween Then and Now

When I was a kid, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays because we celebrated two of my brothers' birthdays that week -- one on the 28th and one on Halloween -- and I had the chance to pretend I was someone else for a day. That appealed to my sense of creativity, so I often made up costumes (gypsy), as well as wearing some of the store-bought ones (Penelope Pitstop).

Halloween still tickles me to some degree. I just gave candy to a group of trick or treaters. Since about 4 p.m., kids have been coming in groups, running down our steep driveway to the door, and laughing and giggling as our golden retriever Lucky came to greet them. Most of them know us from our walks in the neighborhood.

Back in the good old days, we dressed like Frankenstein and mummies, vampires and superheroes. I see lots of superheroes, still, but also girl and boy pirates, Hannah Montanas, mermaids and some girl figures I don't even recognize. While I was appalled by a news program revealing sexy girl costumes for girls as young as 4, I haven't seen any signs of them on the kids in our neighborhood. If anything, they're all dressed fairly innocently -- no gory make-up or hideously scary masks. For the first time in years, the Scream mask is not in vogue; sports outfits are very popular, instead.

Scary movies are different, though not in a good way. The extreme sadomasochistic torture and murder that's currently in the theaters (Saw V? -- never saw any of them) are more gruesome than I want to contemplate. Give me a Hitchcock movie, instead. Real life is often too real -- this week alone two women were murdered by their husbands on Long Island. One was strangled; the other poisoned with arsenic in her coffee.

In recent years, a lot of fundamentalist churches have begun condemning Halloween as an opportunity for Satan to get a toehold in the lives of children. Alternative activities and games have been planned by some religious leaders to counter trick or treating. In addition, alternative haunted house attractions have been launched, like Hell House. I had heard about them in the Bible Belt of the South, but I was surprised to learn of one in Cape Cod. Frankly, I don't think I could stomach the sanctimonious anti-abortion, anti-gay tone of the Hell House, though I would have liked to have seen the parody of it in Hollywood in 2004.

As an Episcopalian, my church finds this a non-issue. In fact, the local high school's poverty charity group, Students for 60,000, has held a haunted house as a fundraiser in the undercroft of our church for the past several years. This year the only controversy was ensuring that the teens were supervised at all times, since the past couple of years they had some problems with chaperones showing up. So far, all is well.

Ironically, our new church school materials attacked the issue of occult and witchcraft interest among teens, citing the story of Saul being struck down by God when he consulted the witch of Endor to help him find out what would happen in his upcoming battle. My partner in teaching the class, Peter, and I felt slightly odd counseling the kids in class that Ouiji Boards and Tarot cards were evil, but we did talk at length about the issue of Satanism. There is a famous incident that occurred in Northport involving the murder of a young man by his peers, who claimed they were devil worshippers. Peter, however, noted that they couldn't have been the real deal, since they misspelled the name of the evil one as "Satin."

Actually, the most frightening experience I ever had involving the Devil, witches and the church was when I visited Salem, Massachusetts several years ago and went to the Salem Witch Museum, as well as the courthouse where several people were put to death as witches. A total of 24 people died as a result of the trials. (Image of Salem hanging above from the Witch Museum.) That was more chilling to me than any Halloween costume or display I'd ever seen. That's why, I think, it's best to leave the judging to God, not to amateurs.

The Book of Life As One Exits, One Enters

Last week my book club celebrated when one of our members became the first grandmother in our group. We gave Chris a basket of books, each one the book we individually cherished as a child. Chris intends to read them to her new granddaughter.

I also had the strange sensation of entering the house of a former client during a tag sale to dispose of his possessions after he died suddenly. Even though I did not know him well, I felt the loss of his life, particularly since his house was crammed with things he'd purchased and never used. (Newsday photo)

One life is just beginning; the other was gone too quickly. Life, I am reminded, is never predictable, yet it is always precious.

Jeff Kozak was only 46, but he hadn't exactly lived a full life. He had expected to be around far longer. In fact, as a trust fund baby, he'd never had to work -- though he'd planned to, some day. He had asked me to help him find commercial property because he had an idea for a business he wanted to start, which involved designing, installing and maintaining tropical aquariums for corporations. He was a scuba-diving fanatic and had become quite fascinated with tropical fish. The first thing you'd see when you walked into his house was a 325-gallon saltwater aquarium filled with colorful specimens he'd collected in the Florida Keys.

Though he'd been married once briefly, a requirement he had to fulfill to earn the rest of his inheritance, he was still looking for "the one," and hoped to have a family some day -- once he was finished with a whirlwind life of skiing, scuba-diving, hiking and having fun.

Last June he was speeding on a main thoroughfare late at night in his 2006 Chili Red Elise Lotus, the night before his 47th birthday, when an SUV turned in front of him. He had no time to stop, crashing into the passenger side of the SUV with such force that there was so little left of him and the car that the police initially had to identify him by the license plate. The vanity plate read "JSTPLYIN." Just Playing. Not exactly the epitaph that he'd expected.

After his estate was settled, the house was sold and the furniture and all of his worldly possessions were put up for sale last week. My husband Andy and I weren't really in the market for anything specific, but when I noticed that theater chairs were among the items listed, I couldn't resist taking a look. It's one of my dreams to eventually have a home theater with a projector, chairs and a popcorn maker -- the works.

Six black leather theater chairs were downstairs in the basement, still wrapped in plastic. They were nice chairs, but we decided to pass, because we would probably have to move them three times before we could even use them. It didn't make sense for us.

Anyway, the house was fully furnished, and Jeff had stereos in every room, high-end ski and scuba equipment, three sets of couches, two sets of dining room furniture, several computers and more clothes and coats than my husband and I own together. Although there were many pieces of art, only two framed photos were in view in the house when we got there. One was a photo of a woman, presumably Jeff's girlfriend, and one was of Jeff with a group of men on a ski trip. This was all that was left of Jeff.

With all of his life's focus on "fun" and material possessions, I doubt that Jeff had ever found the everlasting peace of knowing God. That, more than anything else, made me feel sad.

Web Streaming Gives Edge To Indie Filmmakers

Today Gigantic Digital, a company licensing my husband's software technology, got some online publicity about its launch this week on Digg.com. It's an exciting development for a number of reasons, not the least being that its the first step toward enabling the public to watch a vast array of movies instantly without downloading anything or waiting.

The website founded by Mark Lipsky, a former Miramax and IFC executive, provides a low-cost download of the company's current films, including one in the Sundance Film Festival called Year of the Fish. We're thrilled for Mark and his associates in achieving this milestone because we know about the time (years) and effort (lots of sweat equity) that have gone into this site and perfecting the technology behind it.

This will mean that a lot of independent film companies that couldn't afford to sell their movies as online downloads in the past will now be able to do so. (Netflix is losing a ton of money in bandwidth costs by doing it their way.) Some Christian filmmakers are doing well selling their films as straight-to-DVD purchases, but this could open a worldwide market to them that they never imagined.

A Digg.com reporter writes, "Is the web destined to become the new go-to venue for must-see indie flicks?" If you want to read the whole article, join Digg.com (it only takes a minute) and then click here.

Here's looking at more films in less time on the filmmakers' terms, baby. Way to go, Mark!

Madonna Blames Lack of Faith for Divorce

While I tend to ignore the celebrity scandals that are the stuff of headlines and magazine sales, I couldn't help but notice the rationale Madonna gave recently for divorcing her husband, filmmaker Guy Ritchie. She said that his lack of devotion to Kabbalah was the cause of their break-up, noting that she made it clear when they married that her religion was key to her.

In the world of the rich and famous, love and faith are not the same as they are among we lesser beings, but this struck a nerve.

In a truly loving relationship, people are not cast aside for a wavering in their faith. In fact, it can be expected that one partner or the other will have moments of doubt, and even periods in which they will struggle with their faith. That's when their spouse is supposed to be there for them to support them and remind them of the aspects of the faith that make it worth following; or of the real values that make life worth living.

Even if her husband finally decided that he was not comfortable with Kabbalah, that should have made her more resolved to demonstrate the value of her faith to him, to accept him and to try to bring him back over time. Or even if he rejected Kabbalah outright, that still should not cause her to break her marriage vows to love, honor and cherish until death.

But instead of accepting his feelings, Madonna struck out for what she must have considered to be more fertile ground in terms of a mate who followed the same beliefs. She left her husband of eight years and father of her son for Yankees player Alex Rodriguez, whose wife divorced him earlier this year after she discovered that he was seeing Madonna.

Not to get into all of the nastiness that has ensued since, I can't help but wonder about Madonna's actual commitment to her faith, knowing that she has changed her faiths at least once before when she shunted aside Catholicism for the more trendy Kabbalah. Her spouse also claims she is obsessed with her physical appearance, exercising four hours each day. Looking good is required of her profession, but that's a bit over the top. That level of vanity and worldliness would not be expected of a truly Godly person.

As a symbol of faith, I think she makes a poor case for following Kabbalah or any other religion, due to her lack of charity and faithfulness toward her own spouse and her family. There is a hardness to her behavior that is disturbing at the very least. Certainly she and her spouse were separated by issues aside from religion, but it seems likely that if Madonna put as much energy in resolving them as she does into her career, she could have salvaged it.

I truly feel sorry for her children, who are also victims in this. The adopted Malawi child David Banda is once again being deprived of a father because of her actions, and she has moved back to New York, uprooting all three of them. Presumably she expects to get a better financial settlement here, as well as being close to her next mate. Again, this is not the behavior of a person who is focused on spirituality or the well-being of her family.

When Jesus told the wealthy young man that he would have to give up his material possessions to follow him, it wasn't because he wanted to reduce his circumstances, but rather he wanted to change his focus from the world to the spirit. Madonna, for all of her hype of Kabbalah, still has a lot to learn about faith, and it is doubtful that she will achieve spiritual fulfillment through her relationship with another person and certainly not through fame and fortune.

End of the World? Probably Not

Fear and loathing abound in the consuming culture of the suburbs of Long Island right now. I see it at the mall, which was like a ghost town the past few times I went there for Apple software classes. I went into a jewelry store today to have something appraised for insurance purposes, and three sales agents leaped at the opportunity to help me. Restaurants are not nearly as busy as they usually are this time of year.

Some of my friends are bemoaning the crash and burn of McCain during the past several weeks as the depths of the financial woes in the country began to come into focus for them.

Today I got an enewsletter from financial guru Michael Masterson that had a tagline that I found startling: "Is it the End of Days?" This is not a Christian financial guru, mind you, but one who dispenses a lot of common sense. (Info on "Ready, Fire, Aim" available at the Early to Rise website. ) Then I read the item relating to the subject line:

The world is becoming harder to understand. Perhaps we are at the end of days, as the doomsayers say... In Borepanga, India, Hindus are setting fire to the homes of their Christian neighbors, telling them to convert or die. In the United States and England, conservative governments are nationalizing the financial industry. And Beverly Hills Chihuahua topped the box office for the second weekend in a row.

When all seems to be going to hell in a handbasket, it's good to keep your sense of humor. I have to admit that I was one of the people who paid my $10 to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, because I find chihuahuas to be incredibly funny. Right now we're dogsitting my friend Wendy's chihuahua, Penny, who cracks me up several times a day.

For about a month we had a guest in the house from an independent film crew shooting the film Four Backyards, starring Northport native Edie Falco of the "Sopranos." Rob was the propmaster for the crew, a nice 25-year-old man from Virginia. During his stay, I mentioned to him that he shouldn't worry about the economy, since movies and booze all have traditionally done well during the Depression and recessions. So far it seems to be true, except for heavy or political films -- and forget about war films. Too depressing.

People want to escape and get some relief from their woes. During grand jury duty today, one of the men chatting during a break expressed fear that he would lose his job because he had to serve. "It couldn't have come during a worse time," he said, obviously believing that if the company owners he works for felt they could do without him, he might be fired. That kind of fear isn't letting him enjoy the break and possibly the only chance for a personal insight into the court system that he might have in his life.

The grand jury duty has been only mildly dull at times during delays, but today was the most intriguing day yet -- we saw a security film from a 7-11 shooting that was played on the DA's large screen laptop computer. After we indicted the shooter on nine counts, including attempted murder for shooting two men multiple times, the DA told us that in her career it was the first time she had film footage that was so clear and obvious. It contained the taunting of the shooter inside the 7-11 before the shooting and a view of the shooting outside as the victims fell and cowered while the shooter took a breather and began firing again. Unbelievable stuff -- the kind you see on TV shows, but which rarely happens in real life.

The two injured men testified before us, one of whom was in great pain because the bullet in his buttocks affected his sciatic nerve. Both men were on crutches and had bullet wounds very close to the "family jewels" as the DA explained later. Fortunately, the gangsta' shooter was a bad shot.
(As long as the crime stays on the film and in the bad neighborhood -- and not in mine -- I can look at it objectively. It wouldn't be so entertaining if it was something I had to deal with personally.)

The biggest laugh I had this week, however, had to do with a lawsuit against God. A Nebraska state senator sought an injunction against God for making terroristic threats against him and his constituents in Omaha, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." The judge ruled against State Sen. Ernie Chambers' suit saying that under state law, a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward. Chambers said he filed the suit to draw attention to legislation against frivolous lawsuits.

Maybe if he had read the Bible more closely -- the New Testament in particular -- and prayed, he wouldn't have picked on God, but rather he would have put his trust in Him and sued Satan instead. The Newsday headline read: "God Won't Need Lawyer." Gotta laugh.

Grand Jury Duty No One Wants to Miss

Mortgage fraud, robbery, police bribery, assault & battery, impersonating an officer of the law, unlawful possession of a loaded deadly weapon in a car with open alcohol containers. These are just a few of the cases I've heard.

For the past week, I have been participating in the judicial system by being called to Grand Jury Duty and then being picked among hundreds of people through a lottery system for one of four grand juries currently sitting in Suffolk County, Long Island, New York for the month of October.

After 5 days at it, watching the wheels of justice turn ever so rapidly has been an incredibly fascinating and sometimes encouraging experience.

Although we were told that no excuses for work would be allowed, many of the prospective jurors were released upon request because so many had shown up that weren't needed. Some were even disappointed when they did not get chosen, saying they would be willing to serve even as they took their letter of excuse that entitles them to eight years of freedom from that portion of the court system. Trial juries and federal district juries, however, do not apply.

Our first day of actually hearing cases came two days later, because the district attorney's office in the courthouse I was chosen to serve in near my home was still lining up witnesses and evidence. Only felony cases come before the grand jury for indictment -- and the jury votes for "True Bill" if they think there is enough evidence that a crime had been committed for each count, or "No True Bill" if they do not. So far, we have voted unanimously for True Bill in every case, on every count.

I'd always heard that even a dog could be indicted, because only minimal evidence is required. Also because no defense is presented at that time. Certainly, it is easier to make a decision, since a trial will follow, but I would say that the cases have been so simple that the truth has been easily ascertained.

The police officer who testified in the bribery case gave great detail about what occurred, though we weren't allowed to know what the subject was arrested for that would lead to being kept in jail overnight. The $250 bribe was to get her out and then she offered to "mess around" with the officer later as an added bonus. She had signed a confession, though we were notified that a signed confession is not enough evidence to convict alone. The money and testimony, though, did the trick. The officer, even then, seemed angry and mortified by the event. He walked out of the jury room briskly when he was done.

Several other cases involved thugs who were arrested for those particular actions put before us, but after we voted to indict, the assistant DAs were forthcoming about sharing with us their long records with other criminal activity.

The most interesting case of all so far, though, was the mortgage fraud case. During breaks and long periods of waiting in the jury room, I've come to learn a little bit about most of the grand jury members. The vast majority are homeowners, and many are working class people who have two incomes and struggle to make ends meet on Long Island. They are teachers and landscapers, nurses and construction workers. Of all of the cases, this one elicited the most questions, not only because it was complicated, but because of the indignation that drove them to want to know more.

The crooked mortgage broker and his straw man were indicted just about as fast as the secretary for the group read the charges, all hands shooting up high. After the indictments, the DA answered questions and revealed that her office was after bigger fish. She said that this is the first of many such cases that would be heard in the coming months.

The Grand Jurors seemed pleased that they were able to be a small part of putting things right that have gone terribly wrong all over the United States, and possibly the world. I know that as a commercial realtor for a few years, I saw unethical actions taking place in which banks were rewarding realtors with kickbacks for bringing home buyers and commercial real estate buyers to them for deals that may not have been the best for the buyers -- currently legal, but sleazy just the same.

Prior to each testimony, the witnesses are read an oath that asks them to swear to tell the truth before God. It is clear that a higher power is expected to eventually render the ultimate justice. But serving has made me realize that sometimes doing your civic duty is not only a good thing for the country, but also a good thing for the soul.

Cow Harbor Day Fair Redux

Here's what I've been working on lately: www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyISmUvAXtI .
A couple of iMovie classes, and voila! The original is much better -- now I know why YouTube videos look so bad.

Charity:Water More Than Halfway to Goal

Last night my husband and I went to a reception for Charity:Water, a group that is raising funds that will directly go to build wells in Ethiopia where people are dying or suffering diseases for lack of clean water.

Last month, the group kicked off their second annual fundraiser, calling on people with September birthdays to forego the usual gifts in favor of getting friends and family to raise money for the cause. Go to www.borninseptember.org to read more about it.

With a goal of raising $1.5 million to build 333 wells, they're more than halfway there with $900,000 raised so far after only one month of fundraising.

The event was held at the donated space at Metropolitan Pavilion in Manhattan, a caterer, with loud club music, free bar and Vodka drinks provided by a corporate sponsor and cupcakes for the attendees. About midway through the evening, the founder and force behind the group, Scott Harrison, who celebrated his 33rd birthday in September, spoke about the work that's being done, praising the fundraisers -- including the top fundraiser, who is age 7 and the oldest at age 89. It just shows you're never too young, or too old, to make a difference in the world.

After the first well this year was drilled, Harrison did an interview with CNN to promote the campaign in which he explained how he had had a high-paying, glamorous life as a nightclub promoter in New York, but he felt empty inside until he began this charity and started doing things for other people.

We bought a Charity:Water umbrella and t-shirt and bracelet, but I hope to do more for this group in the future. They have a "modest" goal of providing clean water for the billion people in the world who currently don't have it. It's good to have a goal. I hope, in my lifetime, they achieve it.